The effect of this praise might be opposite to the aim of the parent. 3. My boys are all each others fan club and its marvelous. Required fields are marked *. The administrator takes no responsibility for any action or outcome a reader may make as a result of reading a post. Did I do anything extraordinary? Originally Published: March 28, 2018. momcilog/E+/Getty . To be sure, "I'm really proud of you buddy" can sometimes occur between friends. This topic came to mind because I recently saw a friend / mentor and told him about a meaningful professional accomplishment. Second, he must know you well. The administrator suggests obtaining professional advice on any concerns (including medical or psychological) the reader may hold regarding their children, themselves, or others. You are happy they are an ambassador for you. Simply thanking them or hugging them is an immediate reaction to it. This can help to create stronger relationships and can help to create a positive and constructive environment. 25. They can be in dictionaries but over time can have slightly different meanings depending how they are used. And if one doesnt respect ones parent, what is the reaction to such a statement? Didnt your manager think you were capable of putting such a report together? We are probably trying to encourage our children, and even instil in them a sense of pride in their own achievements. However, is this what happens? He was a murderer from the beginning, and does not stand in the truth, because there is no truth in him. Its powerful. For what? Ive had multiple people tell me theyre proud of me like my parents, grandparents, elders but it just doesnt mean anything to me, I dont have any emotional response from any of them and my response ends up being ok or yup. Responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and can help you to overcome self-doubt. Thanks! Express your own feelings of appreciation and gratitude. Listen to your inner wisdom, and make a note of the meaning that resonates with you. No, I am more proud of you, too. They can be proud; we should be happy for them, and grateful that we played any part in it. You might say: "I'm so proud of you for trying to quit smoking. Also, as bilabial says, I like the recognize traits he values in himself, like his thoroughness and carefulness. That makes you a living miracle. but with my Mothers words of wisdom always echoing. Youre the first person who is happy with it. If a parent can say, 'I'm proud of you', then can the parent also say the opposite - ' I'm disappointed in you '? Let them know that you are grateful for their support. . Image used under license from Shutterstock, research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you", protective role in a their child's mental health, Should Children And Parents Be Friends? I very quickly responded with a snappy, Why? He said because you were up last night with the baby, and went to work, and youre still cleaning this late at night. Um What a shock that I am hardly sleeping, cleaning constantly, working again, taking care of two babies, doing his laundry/dishes/cooking It really rubbed me the wrong way that he was proud of me. "I guess we can't all get Ph.D.'s in science like I did.". 11. If there is a mentor relationship, fine, but when the relationship is supposed to be about equals, What Does It Mean When Someone Says I'm Proud Of You? Lovers often feel proud when they see their beloved in action. Like Im only worth anything just because Im making money? A compliment like this means a lot to us, seeing that we give our people a chance to be happy and proud because of us. If this is the case, then of whom is the parent really proud? Pretty much an entire generation of American kids heard it from Mr. Rogers. Likewise, these are special, cute, and funny replies when someone says I am proud of you and you dont know what to respond next. Get your facts straight. Some years ago I attended a parenting seminar, where the speaker incidentally mentioned avoiding the phrase "Im proud of you". It was then that I realized that who I am is a unique, valuable, and loveable person. If you care deeply for someone, it is entirely possible to share the sense of pride that they feel in THEIR achievement without your hijacking it in any way. When you say, "I'm proud of you," you may actually be simply rejoicing in another. I again said. He may understand you have daddy issues and need a masculine pat on the back. . In this blog, well take a look at Im proud of you and how to respond to it in a meaningful way. In what context. Thank you all, too. If someone calls you boring: "Yeah, and what makes you so exciting?" Nothing,. Well, that means they're impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Keep believing in me, I will make you proud more and more. Friend: "At least you have a job or daughter.". Now, John may hear "I'm disappointed that this is the same picture. Yeah, this means a lot to me. This "mental timeout" gives you the space to process the insulting remark in light of what it was; someone's thoughtlessness or an attack meant to provoke a reaction. For doing what Im supposed to do? Your email address will not be published. I think we need to invent another word for that wonderful feeling in our own chest when someone we care for does something they feel proud about and we agree that they should feel proud. implying a mentor relationship. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. I was very annoyed with her (mainly due to her attitude) and balled her out at the til. Its probably contempt and anger. I know that it is in the nature of the internet that you can confirm, and get consensus about most any belief you have, but, if that is what has happened here, Im OK with it. On the one hand, you're thinking, "He says I'm amazing," and you know he's not wrong. Here are some tips on how to respond to Im proud of you: Following these tips will help to ensure that you are responding to Im proud of you in a meaningful way. Whatever influence we had on the person, or information we gave the person, what they did with it is their accomplishment not ours. What if you really are proud of the person? but you do play a role in their success! When someone says they are busy, it could mean that they are busy. Someone has just gone out of their way to say something nice to you. If you feel stuck on getting that pride going or can't seem to identify the traits or qualities you're most proud of in yourself, go back in time. What are we trying to say or do, when we innocently, and with the best of intentions, praise our children with "Im proud of you"? Private face-to-face sessions and course not available at this point. Is it a parent speaking to a child, for instance, or a friend to a friend? We can all have slightly different interpretations of words which if not careful can start a war! Grandparents And Grandchildren: Observations From A Parent In-Between. When somebody says that you are wrong: "You are entitled to your incorrect opinion." To each his own. But, when you want to make your responses more effective and special, these are some good ways to do it. You had nothing whatsoever to do with any of this you pond-bottom suckers.. A Macquarie Dictionary definition of proud is: feeling pleasure or satisfaction over something conceived as highly honourable or creditable to oneself. You must be so proud of how you're doing!"). They may become adults who are vulnerable, who do not have a strong sense of self-worth. I thought to myself, who is she to be proud of me? And, that nearest person could be your parents, partner, or friends. My native language is not English, but I have fallen into the unfortunate (for somethings) of social netwoks, like facebook. 16. We love all of our readers and we want to you to know how much youre appreciated! For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding. 15. Image used under license from Shutterstock, Larissa Dann. Second, this very fact helps explain why we resent it if the praise comes from someone who isnt viewed as a mentor. 2. Powered by WordPress. said Christopher Robin. 3. Its 10 years later, and I hope that, by now, you have told your children, if you mean it, that you are proud of them. I started to cry with the realization that in my 40+ years I had never heard it from anyone but him. May God's blessings be bestowed upon you forever and always. Compare: "Oh bear!" 10. Is the childs achievement actually a reflection of their parents achievement? What, do you really? A special note on research suggesting that parents saying "I'm proud of you" prevents future mental illness and suicidal ideation in their children. She and I are both married. Take the compliment, give her a big hug and a kiss and tell her "I'm proud of myself as well" and "Thank you". PJ, I think your ex still cares for you so your accomplishments evoke pride in her. 15. It's nothing bad or unusual. Prior to going back, I asked if shed be going to the homecoming tailgate and football game. Hosted by Pressable. Be proud that you are here. Want to Change the Way you React to Your Children? 1. To me, if someone I respect said they were proud of me, would mean much more and have a much better and more positive effect on me than if they said Im really happy for you because the feeling of someone being proud for me includes me, my efforts and achievements, and unites me with that person who said it at the moment of saying it. Don't disguise it as concern, either. . You reject that person's generosity. So as you can likely see, when people say they're "proud" of someone else's accomplishments, they're really saying they are entitled to some honor or credit in the accomplishing of those accomplishments; and when people say they are "humbled" by other people recognizing them for their accomplishments, what they really mean is they . 12. So, if youve achieved something in your educational or professional field, and someone informs you theyre proud of you, it means you did a great job there. We learn from every step we take. This has always happened, but in a context like the current one, in which both rivalry and appearances are highly valued elements, it is very common for this class of individuals, educated to become this way, to appear. So - when a parent says, "Im so proud of you", is the parent taking the credit for the childs accomplishments? The parent might have paid a lot of money, or given up time, to coach and practice tennis with their winning child. 3. Thank you so much! However, the other expression Im really happy for you is so overused that it immediately rings the bell of insincerity. I, too, rightly believe that I had little to do with my offspring making his way in life in a manner that is worthy, but as parent, conveying I am proud of you, has distinctive and important meaning. That would have shown so much more appreciation for what I do 24 hours a day, instead of a measely Im proud of you.. Try either "I'm happy for you!" or, what I find more accurate, "You bring me joy." "You bring me joy," communicates the sentiment nicely. So, lets get started! She reciprocated. 11. A 2017 analysis of 2012 national data from the US, showed that parent behaviour could have a protective role in a their child's mental health. I believe the effort has been worth it for my children, and our relationship. A very concise and articulate post. Achieving your goals will help you stay motivated, inspire you to set and achieve more, and increase confidence. God being what He is, at once moral and all-powerful, the immoral life is doomed to overthrow, whether the immorality consist in grasping rapacity, proud self-aggrandizement, cruel exaction, exulting triumph or senseless idolatry. But what exactly does this phrase mean and how should you respond to it? Second, he must know you well. You have always been there for me and our friendship is something that will never go away. Most of the time you spend together is in the bedroom. 5. Overall, its reserved for people who you trust and respect. Without you, I couldnt do it. I think the phrase Im proud of you is insulting, for the reasons noted above. But you'd like some clarity on what he really means when he says that. So you better know in which tone theyre saying so. Why is this such a contentious phrase? They often tell each other they are proud of one anothers achievements and they all know its genuine. One of the most common phrases they use to express their feelings is Im proud of you. If you're more than a friend it's more loving. Thats what I think. And why should I stop using this phrase? Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means they're happy to see you grow up the way they raised you. This is 20 years ago, and I still remember this moment. #8: They say you need to change. And you get to benefit from them regardless of the outcome of your relationship. She continually updates her course with new examples and relevant material from the latest research. Whatever you did today was the way it was meant to be. Bless me that I keep doing bigger things than this. I admire your ability to ___________. . Embrace Pride There are positive reasons to listen when someone says they are proud of you. It makes us feel seen, understood, and appreciated. I have a little brother who is rather insecure and jealous of me, a very controlling person that thinks having a relationship with each other means that I put up with him trying to make me feel less than in the power scheme, which is precisely why I totally avoid him My YOUNGER brother about my creative talents has to say..I am extremely proud of you..for a bit, this has thrown me off, and I was not able to quite articulate how this really got under my skin, why I did a search on the phrase and have been thinking about itand yeah, it does seem a major insult when an emotionally uncool person whose relationship with you should be on equal terms has to act like a parent, always making a show of being the bigger man saying boy, I am so proud of you. So happy for us! Imperfect, striving, playful, loving, learning. 1. You look so much better!". You: "I have so much to do and not sure how I am going to get it all done.". Thank you., Im honored that youre proud of me. You are of your father the devil, and your will is to do your father's desires. Like I wasnt doing enough before? "I had no idea". With the best of intentions, we want to let our children know of our pride in them. Sometimes a simple change of scenery might help you to stop thinking negative thoughts. It says, I love you so much that YOUR accomplishment can make ME feel pride. 24. Praise such as this is a subject on its own much research and many, many books have been written on the negative aspects of praise. Before you bring your GF home, know- How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, now. . All Rights Reserved. Future Planet. Let me tell you why. Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. She only ever said it once but it has stuck with me forever: Narcissism can be a personality trait and a mental health disorder, and someone can have narcissistic tendencies without being labeled a "narcissist." When you live with narcissistic. As soon as you break . Language gets corrupted. Let them know you think it's great they're considering quitting and that you're ready to help. You are asked at the cocktail party what you do. They just say it. He's proud of you. On the other hand, my brother has said it to me, and although he did not play a role in my achievement, it still meant something positive to me and it felt good. You are taking joy in someone else doing good. Usually friends say "I'm so happy for you" or "Really nice job!" I really dont see that she had a direct influence in what I chose to do. It makes sense for a mentor or parent to say this, or a friend or other who served in some coaching role. It can be difficult to respond to Im proud of you if youre struggling with self-doubt. Also, theyre proud of you, when you do something like your family has been doing or you did something way greater or different than anyone in your family so far. ie you have brought them up as parents and are proud of them for their achievements or manners etc. 8. When someone says "I'm proud of you", they are expressing their admiration and respect for you - and that can be a powerful thing. Ben Casnocha It is a darn good thing that you wrote your opinion; that I found it tonight, and that comments continue to be accepted. that he harrassed them or . A: It's not necessarily wrong to take pride in our work, of course; if we don't, our work will probably end up sloppy or incomplete. Try these new and funny excuses to ask for money from your parents or your family. Thats why we feel pride in our childrens accomplishments. I was talking about this statement Im Proud of you to a friend.I was annoyed about someone saying they were proud of me who barley knows me. Similarly, if someone tries to imply a mentor relationship by telling you, Im proud of you, its like a bad parent trying to claim the rights and status of a good one. Again, these phrases are my evaluation of my childs effort. And as it was your friends achievement, oughtnt she be the one who feels proud? Thank you for always being such a supportive partner. First, he is probably higher status / higher power. I still think she was doing this at the time. "), Parent: "Im proud that you got all As in your school report/won that tennis trophy", How might you feel as the child? No. Do you mean you are also proud of yourself or that you are proud of the other person? Paul urged his young companion Timothy to be "a worker who does not need to be ashamed" (2 Timothy 2:15). Its also important to remember the power of positive reinforcement and the benefits of responding with gratitude. A strong argument is a solid one. And do you really mean that you are damned impressed with your friend for her achievement? The Obama campaign needs to walk this one back and pronto. Especially when you get to hear this from your parents, it means theyre happy to see, 43 Motivational Messages For Hard Working Boyfriend, funny excuses to ask for money from your parents, How to tell your parents that you have a girlfriend, 9 Best Answers To How Was Your Interview?, 16 Clever Comebacks When Someone Tells You To Grow Up, 18 Best Responses To Backhanded Compliments On Social Media. They note your hard work and dedication and remember the person you were before and admire the person you have become. How might you feel as the worker? But it had a very positive impact on this one child. But to be proud of them? Move away from the source of your negative thoughts. And that's how I arrived at the "I'm Proud of You" litmus test. 1. Self-doubt can make it hard to accept compliments and to express gratitude for the words of others. This will help to create a bond between the two of you and will strengthen your relationship. 4. I guess after receiving the compliment, I felt that he was patronizing me, because I have only had my parents or teachers say they were proud of me. Tell me something else, Ive heard this at home. Posted articles do not constitute advice or recommendations. 27. It got me thinking, "How many people could send me that sort of email?" I think you deserve the credit for this all. Thanks. Better Responses 2023. First, is there anything more emotionally potent than someone you really care about and admire telling you, Im proud of you?, It feels like I can name many movies where this serves as the emotional climax. But is that really very useful? I wish everyone had a genuine friend like you. As in, he's purely attracted to your appearance. So thank you Ben, for after read the above I feel happy with my Im thrilled for you, You must feel really proud and the like. "We will always remember. The reader alone is responsible for any action they take as a result of reading this website. I was very irritated and angry. Never downplay the way you feel about someone's abilities and effort. All rights reserved. Imagine this: Four-year-old John shows his Mum a painting he's just done. I use the other terms like Im so happy for you. I am proud of them for being like this with one another. What someone else does might make me proud to be his or her friend/teacher/partner/whatever and thats exactly how Ill express it Im proud to be your fill-in-the-blank. ( Or even what youve done makes me proud to call myself your ____). By being proud of me that person shares their mind and soul with my mind and soul and includes me in a certain extended period of that persons life. 1. When someone knows that you are not only proud, but you are inspired and amazed, it will be an even better compliment. If you're a friend, it's friendly. There are some super special and engaging responses you can give when someone very close to you, says that theyre proud of you. Im proud of you could be seen as an external judgement a parents verdict on a childs performance. Patricia Velasquez. Sept. 29, 2020, 8:12 PM PDT / Updated Sept. 30, 2020, 5:34 AM PDT. But, the real credit goes to you and you only! These two simple words"I care"can mean so much to a person who may be feeling like the entire world is against them. You could feel annoyed and put out. Im proud of myself, although saying it out loud doesnt make it better. Yes, I agree that it can also be very strong coming from siblings and spouses/lovers. Here I would say something like, Youre so talented!/Thats brilliant! Date TBA. In fact, whenever I hear this phrase from a colleague, I immediately understand that this person in reality is envious of my achievements and the phrase Im really happy for you in fact means Im very unhappy that its not my achievement, that you and not me is getting the praise/ promotion/ degree/ lottery win, I hate you for that and I wish I was in your place right now. Do you really think this had a lot of positive impact on many children? Suddenly I found myself questioning my rather lame Im thrilled for you. Although its worth taking a mental note of that in case a pattern does develop. After the game I took her back to her car, gave her a big hug and a kiss on the cheek. He gets a "that's nice". I am livid because a couple of arrogant, condescending people who had been known briefly, posted, We are so proud and impressed, on a stinking FB page, I do not use FB, etc. 9. Benjamin Franklin Positive, Forgiveness, Respect 985 Copy quote "How long have you been sober?". When you respond to Im proud of you with gratitude, youre showing that you value the words of the person expressing their admiration and respect for you. Proverbs 29:23 A person's pride will humble him, but a humble spirit will gain honor. Don't lose control of your emotions. Thanks. But, its important to remember that responding to Im proud of you with gratitude can help to boost your confidence and will help you to overcome your self-doubt. Congratulations on your graduation, dear son. She was very rude and grouchy with me and reluctantly corrected her errors after I asked the manager to get involved. Well, that means theyre impressed, happy, and overjoyed with what you did, achieved, or say something. Best of BBC Future. You can accomplish anything that you put your mind to. I'll help with whatever you need to make it . Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. Rather, relationship skills where we communicate respectfully by listening, by positive I-Messages, by problem solving with our child, will help ensure our children feel connected and valued, and provide our children with a sense of emotional safety. 2014, 2016, 2019. Who is saying this to whom? I am in awe of your talent and accomplishments. Ive told you that, youre going to feel proud of me. Who determines the meaning of words? Later in life, after having been to university, but not knowing what I really wanted to major in and which degree I wanted to get (prepped for teaching career, but not convinced it was the right career for me), I stopped my studies and took a good union job, which at least paid some bills and gave me teh good feelign of earning money. Talents Compliments. I knew it, if no one was going to like this. But worse, my friend thanked them. Most of the time, having pride about someone else comes from a place of superiority. A significant share of Americans (44%) say they personally know someone who has been shot, either accidentally or intentionally. Oh, thank you, friend. What does it mean when someone tells you that they are proud of you? However what messages might our children actually hear? Had I ever thought about the meaning behind these words? Might you quietly ask yourself Who was it that put in the hard hours to get a good report? Go To Homepage. A good friend of mine, who has had a tough life, has just written and published her first book. But, it can also be a bit overwhelming because it puts the spotlight on us and can make us feel exposed. But, what would be the better ways to respond to I am proud of you other than just saying thank you. ), Partner: "I'm proud of you for landing that job", While you might understand that your partner is being supportive, might you also feel a bit miffed? Thats why its important to take their words seriously and to respond in a meaningful way. Please contact info@parentskills.com.au for further information. Tell Them You Care. "I'm proud of you" is often associated with mentor-mentee relationships, something that a teacher or parent might say.
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