Matilda Quotes Showing 1-30 of 112 "So Matilda's strong young mind continued to grow, nurtured by the voices of all those authors who had sent their books out into the world like ships on the sea. MISS TRUNCHBULL carries the ribbon back to her desk and sits down. Agatha Trunchbull. Come on, move you piece of junkyard fodder! One should avoid confrontation when possible. The teacher's clearly falling short. Please! LAVENDER . Miss Jennifer 'Jenny' Honey: Matilda, you promised you wouldn't go back into that house. Is like the TARDIS: And . We're rehearsing. A contract is a contract is a contract! Don't sneer at educated people, Mr. Wormwood. MISS TRUNCHBULL strides to the board. Michael chokes the carrot, while putting baby Matilda in the sink to rinse away spinach, Miss Honey briefly nods yes as she leaves to rescue Matilda from the Chokey, Harry walks down to the kitchen, unaware that his hair has just turned an unhealthy platinum blonde, Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair, walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror, throwing marshmallows as Matilda was grabbing the book that was thrown, the Trunchbull's car, sold to her by Harry Wormwood, has broken down, forcing her to haul it all the way back to her house, Matilda and Miss Honey arrive at Miss Honey's cottage, realizes the Trunchbull is Miss Honey's aunt, Matilda and Miss Honey walk past the Trunchbull's house, as the TV explodes, due to Matilda's powers, looks at Miss Honey and warning the children they were watching us, after smashing the entire cake platter over Bruce Bogtrotter's head, causing the children to stop cheering. Okay. You've gotta learn to listen up, kid. National Green Hair Day! Eat. You have to force the little squits to toe the line! [after Matilda destroys the Wormwoods' TV with her powers] MRS WORMWOOD The guy with the stupid haircut! . Have been trapped inside this cage for ages, Being funny or clever can also help your chances of success. [to MRS WORMWOOD] Would you please shut up? . Not even when the hammer left my hands Is it time for school yet, mum? Oh 21. 6. MISS TRUNCHBULL Crime and Punishment . Where did you get those? MRS WORMWOOD The scene changes to the Wormwood's living room. But unleSs you want to suffer, listen up Daughter of Mr Harry Wormwood who owns Wormwood Moturs. He stands up on a block. FBI Agent Bob: Are they good runners? For this newt, you piss-worm! All grown-ups get scared, just like children. . Some will only be really good at making Jell-O salad. I am *not* seven years old anymore, Aunt Trunchbull! MR WORMWOOD paces the stage. LAVENDER 3. . I have the adoption papers. Leave it alone, Jenny. BIG KID [BEN] Cause I had to slow down to take a second look at you. Stand back, son! A man in business simply cannot fail to get noticed when he looks like this. Er, what books did you read? have you read a whole book? Crowd! And this . to the rules. The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage has been . I'm not paying it. MISS TRUNCHBULL But I didn't do anything. MATILDA stands at the front of the stage as her classmates walk in and the desks rise from the ground. Useless, flamin' car! [suspicious] MISS HONEY is left in a pile stage right. It's called "Moby Dick", by Herman Melville. You have to put it right. One day Jen, you'll see that everything I do is for your own good. MISS HONEY laughs and exits down the stairs at the front of the stage. MISS TRUNCHBULL finishes writing the word "GUILTY" on the board. There's not a lot of difference in size. Trunchbull: Mustn't let a little thing like "little" stop you. [Jenny enters Ms. Trunchbull's office and almost get struck by a dart]. And when you scream, you don't know if the sound came out, Lavender? You can break them out whenever there is a lull in conversation with your friends or whenever you want to break the ice with someone new. A long table with the word "Birthday" emblazoned on it moves forward, with little hands creeping along the bottom. Follow. MISS TRUNCHBULL MR WORMWOOD We all get carried away sometimes. . You have to stay inside the circle all the time. The cars will break down. Matilda? That I treated the rules with casual disdain? Agatha Trunchbull: Did we sell some cars today, honeydew? Matilda, isn't it? But if you did happen to have a story you wanted to tell . But she was about to discover she had a strength a strength she wasn't even aware of. COUPLE 1 . You're a liar and a scoundrel, and your father's a liar and a cheat, one of the most corrupt lowlifes in the history of civilization! See how they shine? He's eaten it all. Everything was arranged by [She pulls her coat over her head to simulate a hunchback, and grabs a large book.] MISS TRUNCHBULL runs in, blowing on her whistle, and chases ERIC down until he is pulled into formation by two BIG KIDS. MATILDA I cannot for the life of me understand why small children take so long to grow up. The lawyer who defended you would have gone to college, too. My daddy says I'm his special little soldier. MISS HONEY. front bottom. Gloria Magitum! Matilda! MATILDA What was my profit for the day? ], CHILDREN Here we are, my heartstrings! Don't be pathetic! . Ha, ha, ha, ha Harry Wormwood: She sat down, and when she got up . From offstage, MISS TRUNCHBULL blows on her whistle. Funny Tinder pickup lines. I've often thought about it, but I can't abandon my children. MRS WORMWOOD MISS TRUNCHBULL My mummy says I'm a jumped-up little germ, Mr Wormwood! Trunchbull: [to the phone] I'm gonna call you straight back. "It is our destiny ". Yes, I know what caveat emptor means, you lowlife liar! And, while you're at it, why don't you stick your stupid book to your stupid head? Honest. It's true he indulges my tendency to bulge. MICHAEL sits on his lap. You've seen one before. [She turns the screens back on.]. It was the biggest burp I had ever done. Matilda: Just because you find that life's not fair, it Listen, you little wiseacre: I'm smart, you're dumb; I'm big, you're little; I'm right, you're wrong, and there's nothing you can do about it. Harry Wormwood, owner, founder, whatever. Could I speak to you for a moment, please? MISS TRUNCHBULL . Before my happy days were Over, How could she possibly have done it when she was sitting way over here? And my very favorite is a spoonful of Nutella. 2 0 obj Agatha Trunchbull: And if it's not right, MAN: Don't put honey on your brother. There's another crime in the making, your car is about to run a stop sign. Looks like rain. Even if what you got is not a lot. Jun 15, 2018 - Explore Kristin Wichman's board "Matilda quotes" on Pinterest. Son, one day, you're gonna have to earn your own living. You listen here, my dear, From now on, this family does *exactly* what I say, when exactly, when I say it! Tell me anywhere you'd like to go on a date. CHILDREN and BIG KIDS run in, creating pandemonium. Once upon a time, the two greatest circus performers in the world an escapologist who could escape from any lock that was ever invented, and an acrobat who was so skilled it seemed as if she could actually fly fell in love, and got married. RUDOLPHO And what sort of teacher would I be I invite you to reply with your own cheesy agent pickup lines, as long as they aren't crossing the line of harassment (actually scrapped a Reyna line for that reason). Harry Wormwood: have you read a whole book? MRS PHELPS it isn't fair! If you're an escapologist, I must be an acrobat to balance that lot. . Mrs Wormwood, I want you to think very carefully. . MISS TRUNCHBULL turns off the screens with a remote and wheels around, holding a magnifying glass. Last week, I read quite a few. BRUCE Now, look at you, and look at me. [walks into the dining room and looks in the mirror] I sold it for $2,269. Like you, I was curious, You're the only daughter I ever had, Matilda. It was like the entire world had gathered to see The Burning Woman, Hurling Through the Air, with Dynamite in Her Hair, Over Sharks and Spiky Objects, Caught By the Man Locked in a Cage. A DOCTOR enters. Oh, let's put it this way. so our main focus is on cute pickup lines, funny pick up lines, cheesy pick up lines, corny pickup lines, clever pickup lines, bad pick up lines, worst pick up lines, sweet pickup lines, and this list is . . MR WORMWOOD A poem? If you were six-and-a-half, you'd be in school already. [He dances backwards and MRS WORMWOOD follows along.]. No excuse, Bruce. [She murmurs along to the music.] We're told we have to do what we're told, but surely, [to MICHAEL] Get up, boy. So, what is it? ACT 1. MATILDA stares up at her for several long seconds. Knock on the door, Jenny. Once in our Cube of Cash, any money that sticks to your gooey body, you get to take home! This is one of the best pick up lines to use after you have hugged someone for the first time. I . [Michael's mouth drops open in shock upon seeing Harry's hair]. Then after several seconds, he picks it up and returns to the cake with renewed vigour. Think of the possibilities.". Narrator: She uses the umbrella to bring down the hat and starts lining it with glue.]. I didn't do it. Children are maggots! AMANDA . Million $ Sticky Host: See you next week. Matilda: ". The CHILDREN and BIG KIDS step back, leaving AMANDA in a spotlight. Neigh! . Corny, sweet, and funny all in one. ], [She turns and walks back to her desk. And remember to be eXtremely careful. MATILDA THE MUSICAL. "We have everything that the world has to offer," said the wife. MISS HONEY And even if you could, BIG KIDS MISS TRUNCHBULL and CHILDREN I hope you know CPR, because you are taking my breath away. 2. Extra strong. NIGEL Me, me, me, me. I will get you like you got me. No, no, no, no [ad lib. Bruce Bogtrotter: 105 Cute Pick-Up Lines That'll Make Them Smile And Text You Back Melanie Gervasoni and Saimonas Lukoius Oh shoot, here we are again. The DOCTOR and the CHILDREN sing into their stethoscopes. This it not your problem. Dip face! If you were a vegetable, you'd be a 'cute-cumber.'. A model of a grand old house rolls in from the back of the stage. The BIG KIDS and CHILDREN scurry away. Two, three, four. I don't believe Matilda's that kind of child at all. MATILDA Jenny: MR WORMWOOD is having a lot of trouble with the book, even putting his foot on it and pulling at it. Write this down. Like you, I was (Q) curious, The sooner you're locked up in that school, the better. (Bruce!) I did *not* glue my hat to my head! Oil of Violets hair tonic for men. As me. Michael: Did you see all those packages outside? Then suddenly, the audience jumped to its feet and roared in appreciation! [They start chattering. 1 0 obj An idiot? I mean, what else? What is it? Here's what I think of your lovely [He starts pulling at the book as though to tear it apart.]. You Don't waste this. Stop me when this becomes true, but once upon a time, you and I went on a date. And honestly, I was really, definitely, sort of, almost thinking about owning up. Oh, my undercarriage doesn't feel quite normal. ], MISS HONEY Yes. Refresh the page, check Medium 's site status, or. Between you and it, Ow! I think they do it deliberately, just to annoy me. Past Matilda. That's right, sir. Is she here? Mrs. C, Mrs. U, Mrs. L-T-Y! [He slides down on his thighs stage left.]. Bunch of hippies and cesspool salesmen, ha ha ha ha Jenny: MR WORMWOOD BIG KIDS Hanging down by your ears. Matilda : You're very brave, Miss Honey. Matilda: [He pulls the towel over his head and starts massaging vigorously]. Platinum blonde hair dye. WOMAN: That's right, honey. 2. Spangly ribbons are strung across the stage. But wrong. . "But we do not have the one thing in the world we want most.". If you sit around and let them get on top, you What am I thinking? Back before my life had ended, Now sit up and look at the TV. AAAHH! 20. RUDOLPHO Stop! The couples and the children overlap the next two verses, as children split themselves among five couples and execute rote choreography. Oh, of course. Cute pick-up lines can help you get past the awkwardness of meeting someone for the first time. Another flaming book? The scene freezes again for BRUCE to talk. Matilda: BRUCE turns back around and the scene unfreezes. My father's portrait used to hang there. Stand out from the crowd! No.